Mary you are definitely in my prayers. I understand about needing supportive people surrounding you. My husband and I don’t live never any family except our son. Both my son and husband work full time. So I’m alone a lot, I have found that it’s hard to b around friends. Most know what I am going thru but r at a loss as to how to help. Personally I do just want to be alone most of the time. Laying on the bed seems to be my best comfort zone. Getting out and walking our dogs feels good when I’m not terribly nauseous but it’s been a really cold winter here in Arkansas and Im frozen to the bone this winter.

My cut this month was only .0350mg. Very small, I’m going to try for a bigger cut in a week but I’ll be puking my brains out I know it. My dr thinks I am experiencing benzo toxicity, which means I get sick when I take a dose and feel better after it wears off and if I cut a dose I get extremely sick. Cutting a dose by .0048mg shouldn’t really make much difference but I experience nausea, vomiting, migraine headache, temporary eyesight changes, burning in my gut, muscle weakness, no appetite for several weeks. Then I rest a week with no cuts then I start it all again. Very slow going, at this rate it will take me 4 years to get off my current dose of 1.09 mg daily. I get zero benefit from taking Klonopin, sick if I take it, sicker when I don’t. The only upside for me is that I don’t have any cravings to take my doses. I do get a headache if I put it off too long, like by a couple hours.

I have to force myself to eat and forget about cooking or going to a grocery store. My sense of smell has gone nuts and I want to put a clothespin on my nose. Plus I can’t drive when I take my meds, I’m taking .17mg in the morning and also in the late afternoon. I feel totally looped on that small amount and I can’t drive for 3-4 hours. Weird fact- the smaller the dose the more doped I feel. It just stinks No matter what!!
My husband has had to do a lot of research to understand what’s going on. He has read the Ashton Manuel as well, he gets that it’s awful and I have it pretty bad in comparison to some others. But he is only human and he does get frustrated with the situation. He likes to eat and I don’t anymore. That can make for some serious tension to say the least. I’m lucky I’m not working bc I’d probably b fired.

Are you taking supplements or vitamins? I know from experience that they can make your withdrawal symptoms much worse. Vitamin D, B, especially bc they excite yur CNS. Also sugar, caffeine, alcohol, chocolate can make it worse and absolutely no artificial sweeteners. I even have issues taking a probiotic, I take one but only every other day or two days. I went from 124lbs to 111lbs in 3 months. I gained most of that back by taking a break during November & December.

I pretty much live on water, Martnellis organic apple juice deluted with water, eggs, 2%milk, bananas, applesauce, Progresso chicken noodle soup, cottage cheese, cooked carrots, green veggies when I can tolerate them, pasta, lean roast beef, special K cereal and boost drinks. I do sip on a little coke sometimes, it seems to settle my stomach.
Elixanol CBD oil helps tremendously with anxiety which wasn’t a problem until I started this taper 7 months ago. In 7 months I’ve cut .285mg, doesn’t seem like much but it’s been a horrible struggle and completely turned our lives upside down.

So sorry for the crazy long post. Please be careful, rest, drink water. Praying for you girl....