@tjprather

Mental health issues crept up on me in my early 50s and it all came to a head when I was 54. I was in the bottom of a dark hole of depression and attempting to end my life. I retired from the ministry when I was 55, and was approved for Social Security disability, and moved to the home we had bought, expecting to move ten years later than we did. I'm now 69, living on ten acres in the country, and after getting meds settled and therapy for 14 years, depression and the other stuff are under control.

I know that without the assurance of knowing that God would be faithful and never abandon me, I'm quite certain that I wouldn't be alive today. It took 5 years to get free from the suicidal ideation, and longer from depression, anxiety and PTSD.

My B.A. is in music, with a focus on piano. I attended a Bible College during the Vietnam era, so I had a 4d deferment and lottery #21. I'd be a whole different person today if I'd been drafted. Did you get your degree after your service? My music training was the foundation of much of my ministry, and I still play at home and at church.

It sounds like your bipolar is under control. A psychiatrist handed me several labels years ago, one of them being depressive bipolar, but I've not been aware of any feelings approaching mania. Labels can give direction for treatment, but we can't let them define us. I have depression, but I am not depression. Just having it is enough.

I'm a survivor now, as well. Reaching that awareness takes longer for some than for others. Being trapped in a web of a mental illness can surely slow that process down. Are there specific things that have been helpful to you in managing life? I look forward to hearing more from you.

Jim