@alamogal635- Good morning. I know just what you mean and how you are feeling. I spilled coffee on my laptop and m missing some letters. I've not been on much because of it, but I'm following everyone. Your uestions and uneasiness at this time are very normal as you adjust to your new life after major surgery. No one knows what will happen in the future. l also depression is very common after major surgery. Two weeks, or even three is very little time after lobectomy to feel "normal" I found that if I didn't get enough sleep, or if I was hungry or if I didn't exercise I was more so. Your feelings of denial come from the "why me" uestion. I think. It's not so much why me that yu were ill, but why me that I could die from this, and that this can come back and slap me in the face. Both are true, it's scary for sure. I would advise that you continue to talk to your counselor and just give yourself time. My heart is with you.