@cctoo- Good morning- I'm so sorry that you are feeling lost. I have felt that way too. I think that I started to feel less lost when I realized that things might happen, a cancer recurrence, stock losses, more than one perfect day of sunshine a year...Your life now will include the chance of another recurrence. It is what it is, as the saying goes. Since I couldn't delay it or stop it's potential recurrence I felt that I had lost all power in my life, all control. It's a horrible feeling. In order for me to "go out and live my life" I had to accept that I most likely will continue to have recurrences and that I had to learn to live with that fact. How did I come to think like this - when I was sick of my not doing things that made my life better. It takes time. There is not anything wrong with you. You are doing fine, trying to readjust your mental life with your physical life. Please do pursue PTSD. I know that this is a very rough time, but you can get through this. Let me know how you do, please!