I'm just 3 years in on my breast cancer diagnosis (5 years from my first Stage 0 diagnosis). I was lucky, caught it early (well so far). Seeing someone be so honest about the fear, the recurrence, the treatments, depression.....(all the fun stuff).....and expressing it. I'm sure it's very common but somehow in my 'journey', though I am quite lucky and thankful for it, you see so many ads and posts and etc that make you feel like depression and anxiety are not the way this makes you feel or that you're not strong enough or tough enough or zen enough. I think also, as I help my husband navigate his serious cancer right now, I saw a lot of myself coping with that on top of my own troubles and thought, 'yes, it's ok to feel depressed, it's normal to hate the unknown aspect of cancer.
You expressed so completely and lovingly the struggle. The Mayo Clinic site has been a great source of support for me but I do try to stay as positive with others and gloss over a bit how awful this feels. I think everyone does. Your blog, for me, was a chance to see that the feelings I've had and are having aren't out of the ordinary. Hugs