Hi @am3, I'm glad that you found an outlet to talk here on Mayo Clinic Connect. I can imagine that it is very hard when people close to you don't understand. I think it can be hard for adults to understand when a 13 year old has dark thoughts, is cutting or has suicidal thoughts. Adults think "Why? You have your whole life in front of you." or "You'll grow out of it." But, I bet that's not the way you feel.
I'm going to ask you to stay in touch. If you feel like hurting yourself or just wish you could cry but can't, there is help. In addition to talking to us here, you might think about chatting with an online counselor here:
– Call or text 988, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline https://988lifeline.org