I've thought of things like that it's like my anxiety or sometimes depression make me feel alone even with people around

I have felt everything you are feeling. I’m so sorry. I have been in a place where nothing could make me smile. Then my doc prescribed me Zoloft and it helped. Then I switched to Effexor and was on that for years. When I turned 50 and my hormones changed, I decided to very slowly ween off Effexor. After 6 months the anxiety and depression were unbearable. I have been back on meds (seroquel in the evening and Zoloft during the day) and it is making a huge dent in my anxiety and depression. I talk to my neighbors and don’t always feel so rushed to respond. Things are put in better perspective and I don’t take the rotten stuff so hard. I’m going through a tough time in life now (as many folks are) but the meds are keeping me focused. Life will get better. I’m not sure if you’re just going through a period that will pass or if, perhaps, a doctor could assist in your outlook. Just know you are not alone.