@catmom777 Awe shucks....thank you. Please join us in the Art for Healing discussion, and get out your paints and make something to share with us. Do it just for you, just because it will make you feel so alive and will ease some stress. You are among friends here. Do you have kitties? We'd love to see them!

We all have made bad decisions including me. A bad decision just means you made a mistake, and we can learn a lot from our mistakes. Plenty of good people make mistakes and sometimes we just don't have enough information to make a good decision or fear gets in the way. Tomorrow is a new day and you can take charge of your health and emotional well being right now because you've already started taking action to empower your health. Words are powerful and if you express something negative and believe it, you can affect what happens. It's stressful, and stress causes about 80% of disease according to studies. You CAN do this. Already you got an earlier appointment. Doesn't that feel good to be taking charge? Give yourself a gold star for that and for being present today here on Connect to sort through all this stuff. Have you thought about going to counseling about your guilt and regrets? That's a a big burden to carry around, and you might just find a way to forgive yourself and begin livinag without regrets. I've carried some big burdens too and learned to let them go. You might feel better if you're not alone. Do you have any friends or relatives that can stay with you for a little bit?

As an artist, I know it's hard, and sometimes there is a very long drought in between sales. It doesn't matter. The art is really for you, and it is very healing. Just keep practicing and don't worry what anyone else thinks. We all start from a place in art where we experiment and can't do it as well as we like, but its just practice and learning about what went wrong and what went right, and going to museums and looking at good art to figure out how they did it....... and ultimately learning how to see differently. I was very inspired to paint my surgeon because of my experience with this surgery and the emotions of getting through something I didn't think I was capable of doing. The painting was an expression of gratitude which feels great, but also it was because I needed to climb that mountain to prove to myself that I could do it again and reclaim what I had lost from my spine injury. When something comes from this close to your heart, the results are inspired and it seems to flow from somewhere else. We can all help you with the waiting for your appointment. Can you get a sleep study scheduled for the sleep apnea? Talk to your primary doctor and maybe you can get that done sooner too.

@catmom777 That's great that you could get an earlier appointment. I hate long waits for appointments when something is really worrisome. I hope your appointment goes well.
JK