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@colleenyoung

Hi @donna562, it sounds like the evidence of the "spare" tracheotomy set is an important reminder of what your body went through without your mind knowing it. Do this help you to be kinder to yourself as you recover and be patient with the healing? How are you doing with processing the ICU experience as time goes on?

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Replies to "Hi @donna562, it sounds like the evidence of the "spare" tracheotomy set is an important reminder..."

Hi Colleen, I'm sorry, I just saw your response. Yes, I suppose having the trach set sort of validates that yes, that really did happen! (Not that anyone would doubt it, since I have scars to prove it, but the memories are so, so blurry.) I am just now, 8 months out and 85% recovered, finally starting to "trust the process" and believe that yes, I can still keep improving. This is perhaps the toughest 15% to get back, though: my short-term memory and the 30 or so IQ points that I swear someone suctioned out in the ICU! I had a hypoxic brain injury due to the length of time that I was on the vent (and possibly because I waited so long to call 911). However, no one can define what that means long-term, and no one can guarantee that I'll get my full brain function back. As so many Severe Covid survivors are learning, there is much to more to learn about this disease than I think we know even now, a year out from the first confirmed cases.

At my therapist's advice, I have held off on getting my medical records as I do have PTSD symptoms and a lot of residual anxiety. As she says, it's normal to be anxious about your whole world falling apart when it really DID fall apart before! But at some point, I just want to understand, to mourn, and to celebrate the nitty-gritty of what my body and psyche went through, laying sedated and in complete isolation for those months. Thanks for asking!