Hello @lorena1963 I am Scott and it is nice to e-meet you here on Mayo Connect! I totally get what you are saying --- the waiting and the not knowing can often be the worst of times especially during hard times!

My wife fought her brain cancer for 14+ years and those times of waiting were always tough!

I don't mean to be negative, but once diagnosed the disease is always in your life and your thoughts. My wife was never able to ignore it completely, but she was able to shove it aside a bit from time to time.

Have you been diagnosed already? If so, what was your diagnosis, if I may ask? You mention 'next steps'. What steps have been taken so far?

Strength, courage, and peace!