I was fortunate not to have to do chemo or radiation (so far) but I did 'lose' my breasts. I had only one moment in the past three years when I mourned losing them, just one brief moment. But, I think I was really mourning having cancer ultimately. I don't miss my breasts, didn't do reconstruction and really enjoy not wearing bras. It's freeing for me. I was never a bra fan and it was the first thing I removed when I got home. Now I resemble a walking pear (ha ha).....small on top and ever widening toward the bottom of me, but I don't miss breasts and embrace the ability to run out the door in less steps (I also hated bra shopping, so that's one less thing on my list). It's odd how 'loss' is sometimes our gain in experience and not a 'loss' at all.

When my niece first shaved my hair at the beginning loss, everyone said how much my son and I looked alike (he's a bald firefighter!)...we took front views and back views and in one of the back views we wore dark glasses on the backs of our heads. I have my tears at night, but try to be positive in front of people. I'm told how brave and what a warrior I am - I just respond that I save my tears for the dark of night. I do feel, however, that this new "adventure" may be a gift as I'm finally learning I have to slow down now. Life throws many curve balls, we just have to keep moving forward.