Hi, I can relate to your feelings of sadness and feeling guilty about smoking. I also have anxiety like you along with depression and PTSD. I do have small cell lung cancer also.When I was first diagnosed I knew I could beat the cancer, now I am feeling trepidatious. It is the emphesyma that scares me. Please be very assertive when dealing with medical personnel. I have learned to be, but fortunately I go to Mayo for my cancer and have the BEST team there. I absolutely love them. Do you go to a pulmonologist? I think that would be a good start. I look at credentials, opinions, to fine the best I can. And when you consider quitting smoking. Know that it is hard. ANddddd it is doable. I was physically and mentally addicted. I took it minute by minute, till it was hour by hour, then on and on. Now it is 16 years. Yes, I still would like a cigarette. But, for a million reasons, I will never do that. I am so, so sorry about your daughter. I cannot imagine your unbearable pain. You are so brave to even say the words. I admire your fortitude. Know that there is a lot that can be done for emphesyma. I do use inhalers and have gone to PT for it. Try to get into an exercise program. It was help with the anxiety and breathing. Will be thinking of you.