Patient or Addict

I have to take some prescription pain meds whenever the OTC ones don't work. I've had to take them off and on for decades for post surgery or temporary conditions; I'm careful with them, I always have been. I can put up with pain during the day but if it's keeping me awake at night, I take 1/2 of one tablet. I don't want to take anything during the day that might make me sleepy. I had a friend who was an addict - when he got an rx for codeine, he took one tablet, an hour later he felt fine - so he took 2 more - the whole bottle was gone in a few days and he went looking for more to buy illegally. It made him feel 'high', he wanted to escape from his life; he woke up in the morning thinking about more pills even though he wasn't in pain physically. I always wake up thinking about what I'm doing today, who I will see, what I should wear, what to take with me, etc. If pain stops me from doing what I planned, I take 1/2 of a pain killer so I can get back into my life. Once the pain is gone I feel normal and that's what I want. The condition I have is getting progressively worse, I will probably have to increase the pain meds. I'm dreading it, I will not get to finish my 'bucket list'; the State will revoke my driver's license as soon as they find out through 'data sharing' that I'm buying meds that are on their 'dangerous' list. I'll have to go into hospice at some point but I'll stay independent for as long as I can. Peggy