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Hello @jgl15
I can certainly understand how you could be confused after going through so many tests and having so many different diagnoses.
You say that, "more confused because I'm very high functioning – my friends and family believe nothing is wrong, I'm a high performer at work, but I know something is very , extremely off." Since you don't mention what your specific symptoms are, I thought that I would provide you first with the symptomatology for Bipolar Disorder:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bipolar-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20355955
And here is the symptoms for Borderline Personality Disorder,
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20370237
You might take a look at the symptoms for each disorder and see how many are similar to your current problems. This might help you to get a handle on a possible diagnosis.
I would like to hear from you again and know how you are working through this process. I hope that you find answers to what sounds like a perplexing problem. Will you post again?
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@hopeful33250 I just read through both and I apologise about the delay. Hurricane Michael. I seem to fit both, honestly. For bipolar, I'm definitely either cyclothymic or NOS. My mood changes constantly and sometimes it's anger totally inappropriate such as is common in BPD. This past week my boyfriend suggested he's not sure he wants to marry me, and I've had the level of fear comparable to someone close to me dying. We've dated almost four years, but the kind of fear and anger I'm feeling still doesn't feel normal. I have a history of abuse in several areas and used to be an alcoholic in college, so BPD looks like a fit. It's just my very physical symptoms that have made this confusing, which may be due to Central sensitization