@57hypo I'm glad you advocated for yourself until you found a good doctor to help you, and it's no surprise to me that you found that at Mayo. I also joined my surgeon's team so to speak and did everything I could to guarantee the success of my recovery. That is exactly how I thought a bout it... that it was a team effort and we all needed each other to make it work.

I agree. Doctors have stressful jobs and that stress affects both the physician and the patient's care. I would not be able to face the trauma they see and work with in their jobs, and the sadness of loosing patients in spite of the best that medicine could offer, so we as patients need to keep that in perspective. They are human just like us. I always approach my physicians with gratitude and kindness, and I believe that this helps both of us. It helps me dissipate my worries, and my doctor knows I appreciate them and this leads to better care. I have found that by being genuinely kind to any of my doctors, that I really do get their focused attention, and I can relax and enjoy their company as well as have a productive appointment. It's amazing what kindness can do.

Here is a story about a surgeon that I didn't want to operate on me.

One of the surgeons I saw prior to coming to Mayo was very arrogant and would not spend more than 5 minutes with me. He looked at my MRI by himself before he came into the room, didn't review it with me, only did one test of my hand strength, and wouldn't answer my questions, and ran out. What he did accomplish in that 5 minutes was to present my situation as significant spinal cord compression that needed an urgent fix and he started some serious anxiety for me as a fearful patient. I had to talk to his PA to ask questions, and that was only after they have finished procedures for the day by phone, and it was apparent to me that the guy just wanted to go home for the day. When I went back for a follow up to go forward, I was having dizziness and leg pain. Only the PA saw me, then he disappeared, and came back to tell me that the doctor wanted me to go to a rehab specialist first, and resolve the leg pain, and after that, he could do my surgery. I had also requested to do a blood test for immune reactions to materials in implants, and they refused to authorize it, even though I would pay out of pocket. I scheduled the rehab appointment, but when I got there through some mistake, I didn't have an appointment. At that point, I gave up.

This surgeon owned his own surgery center with a group of doctors, and did multiple surgeries like what I needed a day ( 30 minute procedures) and there were no choices for the patient , except to do the surgery with the specific hardware and implant that he wanted to use the same on every patient. I knew that my leg pain was caused by the spine problem in my neck because it turned on, or turned off the pain when I turned my head. No one would listen to that. This doctor didn't recognize my symptoms and relate them to my condition. All the surgeons I saw before Mayo, missed the same thing and I found medical literature with cases similar to mine with these unusual symptoms. This surgeon constantly sent quality of life surveys to me that continued for 2 years. I would have explained that I'd resolved the problem and recovered, but his surveys were only multiple choice. I'm glad I wasn't a patient on his assembly line. From this, I learned what I didn't want or trust in a spine surgeon. I knew enough about it to ask intelligent questions, but they didn't care. I just don't think patients should be treated this way. I have to wonder if the limited time each patient gets is to try to maximize profits at his surgery center. It seems they want to rush you through surgery as long as there are no complicating factors.

So, for the very wonderful Mayo surgeon who did help me in a procedure that took an hour and a half (for his part) with a half hour prep time, I wrote a complimentary letter about him and my care to the CEO. I gave him a copy of that, and a copy of the CEOs personal letter back to me. I thanked him face to face for helping me right before we went into surgery, and because he was so kind and helped me overcome my fears about surgery, and because he saved my physical ability to work as an artist, I painted his portrait as a gift. I'd also explained in a letter I wrote to him why it was so important for me to do that, and I thanked him. He trusted me and posed for some photos at a followup, and from that, I painted his portrait. He absolutely loved the painting and now has it in his home to enjoy forever, and I have a doctor committed to my care for any further needs, and he gave me the choice not to have hardware or foreign materials placed on my spine. That's my story and you can find it on the Sharing Mayo Clinic blog in the link below. Now who would you pick if was your choice?
https://sharing.mayoclinic.org/2019/01/09/using-the-art-of-medicine-to-overcome-fear-of-surgery/