I can certainly understand your frustration and thinking of escaping to a desert island! My husband began having memory problems in 2011. The Mayo diagnosis was viral encephalitis. Now, he has hearing issues, short term memory issues and his long term memories are notvery accurate at all, although he is sure he is correct. Lol.
He has 4 children, but none of them can help. Two of his daughters visit from out of town about once a year and only stay for a few hours. My daughter and son-in-law do all they can, but their lives are busy with work and my granddaughter. We have been married for 15 years and he has been “sick” (for want of a better description) for 7. I dream of a vacation, away from caregiving duties, but have not discovered a way to do this. I’m coping, butvery tired, physically and mentally.
Your sibling may have washed her hands of your parents, but surely she cares about you. I’m sure others have no idea how hard and isolating the job of caregiver is. You are facing multiple surgeries and will need to heal, in order to continue as caregiver! Is respite care available through your city or county? Do you have Power of attorney? Is there a way to insist on moving your parents to assisted living? I visited an attorney whose specialty is elder care and found there were several things I had not been aware of. She was very helpful in protecting assets and potential assisted living for my husband. Would your sister come to help you, at least immediately after surgery?
I’m sorry this is a bit long, but wanted to offer understanding and support. Others may have additional suggestions, but if nothing else, we all sympathize with your situation and are here for you.

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