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Autism & the difficulty of getting & doing a job

Autism (ASD) | Last Active: Jul 31, 2021 | Replies (60)

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@avmcbellar

Thank you Teresa and Ginger. I appreciate your kind words. My husband and I try to help him. The problem is he doesn’t understand to be grateful. Although he says he is he does the same mistakes over and over. We first helped our son when he moved here from Arizona 5 years ago. So I got to learn more about him at first because he lived with us until finding his own apartment 5-6 months later. We learned of the silly things he had done or was doing. People were taking advantage of him. It was difficult to say anything to him because he did not think he had autism. We ended up being the bad guys in trying to help him. We let him be until he got arrested. We once again had him live with us so he could get back on his feet. He had lost his apartment since getting arrested. It left him with no income. He was homeless until he began living with us. He was able to get financial assistance once he was medically determined to be autistic. That was a savior for him. He later got his low income housing. Over the Thanksgiving holiday he told us he plans to move back to Arizona in the summer because he has met a women his age who has a physical disability. He has a long distance relationship with her. She visited him once here in Tampa. He claims they often do dates on Zoom where they watch movies together. No stopping him. We gave him advice but he angrily says it is his decision and he will do it his way. We shall see what he does. I hope people don’t take advantage of him. We told him to be careful and make sure he understands what he signs. If he needs help to ask us. He said yes but does the same each time. A friend once told him to sign a contract saying that his friend was good for a motorcycle loan. That is what our son believed. In turn he had actually signed a contract for purchasing that motorcycle. He was responsible for the loan and motorcycle. While living in Florida, he got several calls and notices that he was delinquent on his payments. Apparently his friend stopped paying on the loan. What a mess! Our son knew nothing of what was happening. I’m afraid there is not much we can do. He is not accepting of a guardian. Besides we cannot be around forever to care for him. Toni

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Replies to "Thank you Teresa and Ginger. I appreciate your kind words. My husband and I try to..."

@avmcbellar The comment by @hopeful33250 Teresa was a great idea. May I suggest that you contact the Public Guardian's Office in your county in Florida. They may be able to give you some direction if you want to be your son's conservator over finances and health decisions. Has he had a formal diagnosis now of his level of autism, seeing he is receiving benefits? If so, even if he does not want your assistance, you may have some influence over his decisions. Summer is a long way aways, and his mind may change before then regarding a move. If there is someone close to him, not a family member, or someone who he listens to, they may be able to make inroads on your behalf regarding him agreeing to have you help him. Otherwise, you may run the risk of alienating him or having him do something out of spite.
Ginger