Thank you lioness. I have accepted my condition. When pain gets really bad I tear up and pray. God knows of my pain. I have talked with Him and told Him I am ready to go whenever He feels it's my time. In the meantime I am trying to work on not being bitter toward those who control our pain meds. I am also reminded that Jesus Himself suffered terribly. In ways we cannot imagine. He hung by his wrists by nails on a tree and was given NO PAIN meds. How ashamed I am when I complain. Please forgive me.