@dmho Wow I didnt know he was on so many meds. Im late at responding as Im on the west coast.. If this will help you there is a website drugs.com that list the meds , interactions, and side effects of meds. The pharmacist can be of great help to you also about the meds .your Dad is on . Since you don't live close to him it may be of benefit for you to look up these drugs for interactions and side effects. His Dr should be aware of all his meds . also . Hope this helps

Hi @dmho, I add my welcome. I'm wondering if your father has multiple specialists or if he has one doctor who oversees and is aware of all his medications. For my mom and my aunt, we returned to their respective PCPs and reviewed all their medications to determine if all remained necessary. We also discussed how things were working, new symptoms and former symptoms that had disappeared as well as lifestyle changes they had made - activity level changes, diet and social changes. The result for both of them was an adjustment to their medications, doses and elimination or addition of medication and supporting vitamins and supplements.

We did this about 2 years ago, so the implications of COVID were not considered. Social and mental changes are much more acute these days and need to be considered.

Might it be possible for your mom and dad to arrange a consult with his doctor and you could join the consult by phone or video chat? More and more physicians are doing this even before COVID, but all the more now. Would your father be open to having you join a doctor visit by phone?

@dmho, At 77 yrs and except for Metformin which didn't work for me, I am not familiar with the meds your dad is taking. I have multiple health issues so take more meds than those you listed for your dad and do know that sometimes meds can cause unwanted side effects. Could your mom or you arrange a telephone conference with your dad's prescribing doc if your dad is unwilling to go or call himself? Any mention of wanting to die is a definite plea for help and sounds like he may be experiencing deep depression. I am certainly not medically trained but my heart goes out to you and your family.

@dmho It's hard to be away from loved ones when they are in need of our help. I like @fiesty76's suggestion of teleconferencing with the provider. It must be alarming and unsettling that your father is making comments about despair and death. It's normal to talk about death and to have fleeting suicidal thoughts. However it should always take them seriously.

Has he made these kinds of comments in the past? Has he recently been prescribed medication that has a suicide warning? I might suggest calling for a welfare check if you feel he is in imminent danger. If you feel that he is not in imminent danger then I'd suggest calling his provider directly.

If your father has signed a release of information you should be able to ask them questions about your father's care and medication. If your father has not signed a release then you would still be able to give the provider information. Do you think your father would be open to your calling his provider regarding his comments about death?