@mariajean03

I'm always saddened to hear that someone is having to deal with various stigmas. I don't think that I ever really understood how awful that could be until I became a target. Depression and anxiety and PTSD and suicide attempts each carry a stigma that I've lived under. Education helps much of the time, but old misconceptions die very slowly. And one of the things that I struggle with is knowing that people have those old attitudes toward me. When I'm reminded of it, all of the mental health challenges that I face move up to the center of my consciousness. As a rule, I'm able to stay pretty stable, thanks to therapy and medications, but lately I've been more depressed, mostly, I think, because of the neuropathy pain in my feet and ankles.

I grew up in a minister's home, and until I was 55, I followed in my father's footsteps. Because I wasn't able to function in my job, I was approved for Social Security disability. Talk about living with stigma! Pastors are supposed to have it all together, but all of a sudden I was on the other side of the counselor's desk, and I heard things people said in judgment of me. Things like "You need to pray more", "You need more faith", "You need to read the Bible more". And lots worse. The congregation I had served for ten years turned on me and wanted to run me out of town.

I'm 70 now, and the past 15 years haven't been easy. Being told that I should be over "it" by now, Is very unhelpful, to say the least. We're in a good church now, and the pastor knows about depression personally. Some of his chemotherapy shuts him down for a week, and he curls up under his blanket in his recliner during that time. I'm not made to feel like a terrible sinner anymore. (That's how I was treated in the last church we went to.)

I agree with you that going to church can be a therapy boost, as it should be. Going to mass shows that you are taking care of yourself. How often can you go? Right now, our church is restricted to two Sunday morning services, and we miss the other worship times. I'm impressed by the ways you work around your limitations. Summer is better for me because I have so much work that needs to be done. We have ten acres, and I'm thankful that we're leasing the pasture to our neighbors. That means they do the work of irritating. All we have to do is enjoy seeing their cows and horses grazing. And pay the irrigation pump bill. I need to paint a few sections of the barn this summer. If I could just get myself up and going earlier...

Good to hear from you.

Jim