@merpreb Okay. CBD did help. Out of league. Still duking it out with myself today. I know in this state I dare go nowhere. Took all of holiday decorations down which are few. Struggling with not once again destroying everything there is about me as I am not worth anything-oh yes, depression has hit with PTSD. Not thinking straight and know it. Only support I have is here and reading comments does help. In that, “I am a waste of skin” place. Been here before. I know it and recognize it. Does not make it any less uncomfortable. Can not blow fuse as someone would call cops and surely don’t want that!!! I am trapped in a life I don’t want. Stopping.