Replies to Dear @alphacat and @dntsass01, Loss and grief is one common experience we have at one time…

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Autoimmune Diseases | Last Active: Nov 1, 2023 | Replies (123)

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@kanaazpereira

Loss and grief is one common experience we have at one time or another, but losing a child is beyond the natural order of things – I am in awe of the resilience and strength you must have to cope with such unimaginable loss!

I want you to know that you are not alone in your grief. There is a conversation on Connect, "Loss and Grief: How are you doing?" https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/loss-and-grief-how-are-you-doing/ – whenever you feel ready to join the conversation, you will find that it is a safe place to get support, comfort and encouragement from Connect members who care. Writing out your thoughts, sharing them may let those incredibly painful emotions rest for a bit.

There is a Korean proverb that says, “When a parent dies, they are buried in the ground. When a child dies, they are buried in the parent’s heart."
@alphacat @dntsass01, I wish you peace and beautiful memories, and I hope to read and learn more from your journey towards healing.

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Replies to "Dear @alphacat and @dntsass01, Loss and grief is one common experience we have at one time..."

alphacat | @alphacat | Jul 7, 2018

Many thanks and blessings to you. You are so right. In my 25 years as an ER Nurse, the hardest patients were children who died. The parent often would give this gutteral primitive wail that pierced my soul. Even so, nothing could have prepared me for doing CPR on my own child, making him a DNR (Do Not Recussitate) and making the choice to not autopsy so that his 21 year old perfect body could give life to others. We may never know why he developed the brain swelling, but an autopsy wouldn't change anything. For nights, I would wake myself up with my own wailing. I'm past that, but the pain of losing part of my very being, a kid mistreated repeatedly by the medical system who should have not died, will be with me for life, as will the daily tears and pain.