There was a time I was surrounded by smokers and did not start until I was 40. I learned that I blended better. Dumb reason to start. Yesterday was one of those dreadful days where I wanted something tangible for comfort and company. I had not thought of a cigarette in a long time. I wrestled with this thought for a while and realized my trigger was the neighbor above me going in and out her sliding door with others for a smoke. I am glad she smokes outside as she is on oxygen and lives most of her life tied to a home unit. We all need something at times and I chose to not need that as they now make me dreadfully ill as does anything in the Nightshade family. Also a reminder that it could as easily be me trapped by tubes because of smoking.