Hi, @smilie, how are you feeling today? From the posts I have read, it seems that you are presently suffering from anxiety and depression. I am a current member of that club, and I gave good news for you.

You can be free of the everyday, unrelenting walking through a swamp kind of living that anxiety and depression foist upon a person. I have battled both since I can remember. Not too many three year olds plan how to do away with themselves.

If I had it all to do over, at a younger age than I am now (currently I am a seasoned senior citizen) I would study and review the well trained really empathetic Psychiatrists and counselors who actually know what they are doing and care about each of their patients.

I would then make an appointment as soon as possible. I would make a list for the medical professionals telling them exactly how my life used to be before anxiety and depression. I would make it clear how I felt now. And what I am unable to do now.

I do not give advice. I simply speak from experience. If you feel like you cannot hold on any longer, go to the emergency room. Life is beautiful when anxiety and depression are put in their rightful place. Under our feet! These conditions are signals that there is a disturbing lack of sufficient chemicals in our bodies that are essential for our survivsl. Just as important as insulin or heart medicibe.

Don't be ashamed. It is nothing to be ashamed about. You are to be commended for trying to get the support you need. We are here for you!

Look up Mental Health on Mayo Clinic Connect. There are groups for all of us there. People who have been where you are.

Will you take good care of you and come back here to let us know how you are feeling?

Love and light, my friend.

Mamacita