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@teresa,hopeful33250 , getting ready to walk out the door to bare my soul to a complete stranger who quite possibly is at least one generation younger than me , is likely not trained very well in geriatric conditions, Autism in Adults,
...
And I am scared. You go in and tell the truth after baring your soul on page after page of forms listing your psychological and medical history, as well as that of your parents and close relatives.
On paper, I look like a train wreck.
On paper, I should not be the hopeful, happy, joyful person I am.
On paper, I have physical conditions going all the way back to childhood trauma that should have killed me long ago.
But I'm still here.
They asked me on paper one of the hardest questions I have ever had to answer.
"When did you first experience suicidal ideation and what were your plans?"
What will they think if me when I have to explain that I had to be between 2 and 4 years old....
What will they think of me when I have to explain that I bonded as an infant to my nanny who they had to let go when I was a year old?
How will they look at me, what will they write down in that paper in front of them, when I say that my mother was so very ill, she didn't want me and could not be a mother to me? What will they think about me.....when I tell them I have overcome so much? But not without help.
I just don't know. I just know I have to make a start, to protect my health and do the proper self care needed to live my best life. An abundant life.
Coffee first. Then I'm off.
Say a prayer. Send positive vibes and all the positive energy you can my way.
I appreciate it. Love and light to every one of you, my Autists and Allies. You are amazing and I love each and every one of you for being here.
I feel so much better just talking with you.
Mamacita Jane
Replies to "@Teresa,hopeful33250 , getting ready to walk out the door to bare my soul to a complete..."
Dear @mamacita,
No matter the age of the person who you will see, I'm sure he/she will be just as amazed by your spirit and determination as I am (and everyone else on Connect). Go into this appointment recognizing you are a gem and you will shine brightly! Love and light to you my friend!
@mamacita What this person should do and say is, "You're amazing, You're such an example of how strong people can overcome negatives in their life. You're a shining presentation of how to use your situations as a stepping stone, and not a millstone. I want to help you feel and be the best you can and want to be." That's what this person should say, and we'll all line up to tell him/her just that! Sending gentle cyber hugs and uplifting prayers on wing.
Ginger
Connect
Lisa Lucier, Connect Moderator....kerp me in your thoughts as best you can.
It is so difficult sharing personal information to a complete stranger.
Autistics feel very deeply.
We take criticism so painfully seriously.
I have been on the other side of that desk.
I know by experience some of the things she will tell me .
When working with my own clients, I never write anything down until my client leaves or I drive away, if it is,a home visir.
That is how sensitive we can be.
I hope you have a wonderful day today. Thank you for your support. It means the world to me.
Mamacita Jane