For @gingerw and all our companions on the Spectrum, a hearty welcome to the table this cold, cloudy December morning. I may have another cup of coffee as I try to think about what I want to talk about this morning. So, take off your coat, pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. Recently we had a guest who shared so beautifully the story of his life on the Spectrum. He was tested and re-tested multiple times, with differing results, through the years. Various and sundry labels were placed on him as the educational and medical establishment sought to determine the root of his problems. Not unlike my own journey, except mine was spread over a period of 66 years, and continues to this day.

I am not a Clinical Psychologist. I am not a Psychiatrist. I am merely an inhabitant on this round ball of dirt, water, grass, and sky that we call Earth. I am not better than you, but I am not less than, either. And therein lies the rub. I have dabbled in human behavior for most of my life. I could throw information at you and give you statistics and quote form "experts" in the field. I could do that, yes. That would be a worthy task, and I just might find myself doing that at some later point in time. But you know what I really think is at the bottom of all these issues and labels and problems that we all have, Neurodivergent and Neurotypical alike? Acceptance. Being seen, being heard, and being loved by one's own tribe.

I have worked with children who had multiple diagnoses, Non-verbal, lost in their own world, and requiring 24/7 care. One particular child would "stim" by grasping her fists in front of her chest, then fling her long, slender arms out to the side as hard and fast as she could. Once she did that and she made contact with my eye. Oh, the pain of that! And the embarrassment! I should have known better than to be standing right there next to her within arm's length when she was stimming. My Principal insisted on taking me to an ER center where the Doctor pronounced that I'd lost fifty percent of my vision in that eye. He assured me that it was only temporary, and sure enough, I was fine within weeks. It never returned 100% but it was good enough.

So to make a long story short, I would say that we do not need to increase our anxiety levels by dwelling on the difficulties we encounter daily. I know now that I have a few glitches in my brain that make certain learning more difficult. Not impossible, but harder to accomplish. When I read for enjoyment, the words seem to dance around on the page. I have to go back and visualize who everyone is in the book, and keep a running list in my mind of "who is who." Yet, at the same time, I can tell you what episode of which television show was on when I hung the curtains yesterday. And exactly what we had for lunch Or where my coworker placed the paperwork that she said she never touched. Fortunately for me, there were video cameras in every classroom, in every part of the school where I worked. I just shrugged off her accusations, but another colleague would not let it go. Insisted that the tape be played back in front of the Principal. I was vilified.

Sure, we have issues that try to throw a wrench in the works. I never know what kind of mood I am going to be in when I wake up every morning. Depression and anxiety, as well as chronic pain know their way to my door all too well. So, I have learned to practice self care and gratitude. OCD is trying to teach me some things at the present. But that story is for another day. In this world of trying to be the perfect parent, the perfect spouse, the perfect friend, the perfect employee, can we just stop a second and think of how ridiculous a goal that actually is? How about we just sit back, take a break, and concentrate on being the best "you" that you can be? Because to look at all our faults and failings, to compare ourselves with ourselves, is worse than useless. It is dangerous. Be glad of who you are! Love yourself, and take time for yourself. Be the kindness to yourself that you so graciously give to others.

Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukah or Happy Whatever you identify with! You are loved!