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I've been told by a psychiatrist that I have Asperger's Syndrome. But I actually think I "outgrew" Asperger's Syndrome. I know you can't, but I did! However, I think I have plain autism. And autism has side effects that are horrible. I've had a lifelong stuttering problem. I've had lifelong depression. I've been suicidal. If anyone tells you that they love having autism, in my opinion, they do not have autism. Autism is a deformity of the brain. What's to love about having a brain that is deformed? From what I've read, people with autism have brains that have two parts that are supposed to be completely different, but instead, they are similar. I would not wish autism on any human who has ever lived. It's that bad. OCD is a side effect of Autism. You wouldn't want to know what a lifetime of severe OCD does to you. Strangely enough, I read that people with Asperger's are less likely to get cancer. I actually have cancer also, by the way. People with Autism need to go to Washington and testify before Congress. But that's the last thing a person with Autism would want to do. Well, I hope to do it. Someone has to!
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Hello, @usernameca, this is Mamacita. I understand where you are coming from. My mother had a terrible case of OCD. It was not diagnosed until about a year before she passed away.
To me, it is worse than anything Autism tries to throw at me. And Autism does throw life at you! For sure!
I get on here from time to time and I will speak of the gifts of Autism. Of the pride that I feel when I have struggled in an area and managed to overcome.
I rarely go into too much depth about the sadness, the trials, the lost opportunities, or the everyday difficulties of living in a world that is not set up for the way my brain works.
I don't talk about the times I have cried into my pillow over an injustice done to my grandchildren. At not being invited to birthday parties, at having children just turn and walk away when one of them approaches a child on the playground.
When his "friend" doesn't want to be his friend anymore. When he gets overwhelmed around Neurotypical noises and frantic movements and senseless (To us) chatter.
The rules of the Neurotypical world don't make a whole lot of sense to me. Anxiety and Depression dog me everyday. No one likes to hear that, though.
I hurt that you hurt. I am still fairly new here, trying to flounder around and help in any way that I can. I am painfully aware that all is not sunshine and roses on the Spectrum. While I do sincerely appreciate what I refer to as the gifts of Autism, I have not always lived on that side of the street.
I hope that you will be comfortable enough here, at some point, to tell more of your story as you are able. I will honestly respond with respect and appreciation for what you have been through. You can private message me at any time. In the meantime, I will be keeping you in my thoughts and sending all good vibes your way. Thank you for your graciousness and your courage. Adios!