← Return to Adults On The Autism Spectrum

Mamacita, Alumna Mentor (@mamacita)

Adults On The Autism Spectrum

Autism (ASD) | Last Active: Oct 27 3:02pm | Replies (1134)

Comment receiving replies

I was always different. As a small child, I didn't realize I was different. I only knew as early as the age of three or four that I wanted to kill myself. I had it all planned out how I would do that. If I failed, I planned to run away from home, and I had that figured out as well. That would mean leaving my beloved Father behind. But I knew my Mother didn't care about me, so, I figured I had no choice. She was mentally ill, having suffered terribly at the hands of an abusive male relative for many years. She would frequently tell me all kinds of things that unsettled me. That she was not my "real" mother, that she was just watching me until she could come to get me. In a very real sense, she was not my real mother. My "real" Mother was one of two ladies hired by my Father to take care of me when I was born. My biological mother had a difficult time accepting motherhood. She had some sort of breakdown when I was born, and was unable to care for me. After a year, my parents could no longer afford two nannies. But they let the wrong one go. Just like in the film the Help, I was that little girl crying and screaming, begging the woman who had loved her and raised her not to go. I could read before I went to school, and was used as a teacher's aide to help other kids learn to read and write. I was playing the piano for church services at the age of six, and teaching my third grade class their music lessons at the insistence of my teacher. I had superior hearing, off the charts, actually, when I was finally tested as an adult. I read a huge stack of books every day after school, returned them the next day, then checked out another stack. I felt that if I read enough, one day I would figure it all out. I ended up becoming a Social Worker, then a Special Educator. I read temple Grandin's book, Thinking In Pictures, and was stunned. I had not known until then, that other people did not think in pictures. This was a very big deal to me. I worked directly under a Psychologist for the school system for three years, trying to help a child on the Spectrum to find her place. I suspected at the time that I had ADHD, and had already been diagnosed with Depression. I was already collecting labels by the fistful, and certainly did not desire anymore. But I always knew there was more to me than just depression. Long after I was transferred to another position in the school system, I began studying more about Autism. It was only after the ADHD medicines had become ineffective that I began to understand there was indeed a Spectrum, and that all people with Autism did not present exactly the same way. I am very sociable, for example. I never meet a stranger. I know now that I was miserable for so long, I want to do everything I can to encourage other people struggling with life. Around five or so years ago, I think, I began to read bits and pieces from a woman named Samantha Craft. She wrote Everyday Aspergers, and had a long list of traits that might present in females. This was very significant, because until about this time, most medical professionals didn't recognize Autism in females, except for extreme cases. We know now that girls are much better at "masking" or mimicking what is considered to be normal or typical behavior. After remaining open to the possibility that I could be on the Spectrum, I began to take a series of tests that are commonly given as part of the process in determining Spectrum disorders. It must be understood that I was extremely motivated in determining the truth. I had absolutely no desire whatsoever to attempt to make my scores high enough to "fit" the diagnosis. For me, this was a life or death matter. I have limited access to competent medical professionals who have had good success in working with persons on the Spectrum. Where I live, the closest place would be Birmingham, AL. I am raising a thirteen year old, have various health conditions, and a dear husband who is on immunosuppressant therapy. My days are filled with Homeschool and cleaning, so that his many allergies to not put him in respiratory distress. If I ever manage to have the time to get an appointment with a really good Psychiatrist an hour and a half's drive away, it will be just one more affirmation. I know where I come from and I know where I belong. The Spectrum is a perfect fit for me. My brain is just wired differently. All my senses are heightened to the nth degree. Things that used to torment me, now make sense. Sorry this is so long. I have actually left out an awful lot.

Jump to this post

Replies to "I was always different. As a small child, I didn't realize I was different. I only..."

i actually found an scientific medical research paper from Boston unis biology dept. and pharmacology experimental therapeutics from the frontiers in Cellular Neuroscience. they have found 1,000 genes ASD CAUSATIVE DIVERSITY in from simmons foundation autism research iniative gene database .I ESPECIALLY READING IT THERE ARE LINKS TO ADHD ,SCHITSOPHRENIA,asd,`, ddepilepsy,ocd and tourettes syndrome.. i was tired of vaccinations being blamed as a causal agent for autism and wanted to be able toget together a data base to help parents of asd children to understand and how to help them

Dear ones, I am friends with those who believe that vaccines cause Autism. I am friends with those who believe our brains are constructed differently from the moment of conception. When I started working in the field years ago, we really didn't know very much. We basically hoped, prayed, and flew by the seat of our pants. Early on we knew that too much clutter would distract our precious little Auties. (We didn't refer to them in that way then. We used the term " on the Spectrum.") We covered up the books on the shelves with plain white curtain material, and only used one object at the time in instruction. I used puppets early on, and made the puppet a naughty little bear, who was a kindergartener. I would show them the "wrong" way of doing something by having the little bear act it out. The children would squeal with delight at his antics, and shout "No, no, that's not the way to do it!!!!" Then together, hand over hand, we would act out the correct way. Music was good therapy during this time. I found one particular radio station that seemed to soothe them. No other station would do. I tried. Really, I tried. ABA was the going thing back then and we were desperate In our sheltered little corner of the South, we only used rewards for completed tasks. Never punishment. We allowed them to "stim " which again, seems to be the going thing in Autism circles now. Good thing. Researchers and teachers alike are saying that even Neurotypicals "stim." So it is considered appropriate for them to express their feelings. We didn't take away privileges for tantrums. We added more PE time. Try explaining that to a group of regular education professionals. They tried to understand, some of them. But many just thought that we were crazy and didn't know what we were doing. Well, they were halfway right. We were crazy in love with this precious child that so many wanted to give up on. We knew there was a purpose and a plan. Heaven itself was our teacher and guide. So if you or someone you love is Autistic, read every book you can get your hands on. Check out support groups and blogs online and in the community . Look for the ones who support the child in their gifts. Look for the ones who support the rights of those who speak differently, or not at all. We come in all sizes, shapes, and colors. We hurt, we feel, deeply. We are different, not less than. And we make very loyal friends once you understand that we think outside the box. Shalom,

hi Marmacita , based on a scientific medical research paper from BOSTON UNIVERSITY WRITTEN GILBERT AND MAN .called the Fundamental Elements in autism: From Neurogenesis and Neurite Growth to Synaptic Plasticity. This paper identifies 30 different genes involved in the physiological changes to the brain at the making of the brain at theend of the first Trimester of a babies development and its this point where the changes occur and leading to a child being on the ASD

I look forward to reading this information and discussing it further with you. Peace,

Do you have a link to that research? Fascinating information! Lifelong learner on Autism Sectrum. Thank you.

Do you have a link to that research from Boston.? I'd love to read it too.

shalom mum

either look in the Frontiers In Cellular Neuroscience and or the scientific medical research paper title is Fundamental Elements in Autism, From Neurogenesis and Neurite Growth to Synaptic Plasticity authors James gilbert and Heng-Ye Man from Boston university from the depts. of Biology and dept of Pharmacology& Experimental Therapeutics . quite an interesting paper ittook me 3 days to read it andi understood 70 %

Thank you. Will do!

people do and we auties do its called sysnesthesia and see in pictures or colours

  Request Appointment