I understand what it means to be alone and frightened after losing my husband to whom I was married sixty-years. Even though he has been gone for over 12 years there are places that we shared that bring on anxiety when I walk into them. I admit that I have never overcome it but still do try once in a while. I sympathize with what you are experiencing and as I learn more about what others are doing, mostly self-help and self-healing, and will pass it on using Mayo Clinic Connect to share.

@joanm65 Would that I had an answer. I have read what others do and the suggestions are insightful. Also reading these various ways that others deal with anxiety I can see where it sounds so easy-not so when in the midst of a full blown panic attack. Personally speaking when I am in this terrifying place bringing a happy place to the surface-well, this does not work for me. Once in this place there are boogey men everywhere and breathing becomes seemingly impossible. This is not a "happy place" and the best I can do is "try" to remember I have been in this scary place many times before and lived through it. I will admit that even this does not help immediately. I cannot always leave my home and there are times even my home does not feel safe.
I have lived with this for years and I feel like such a weak person when I have these silly (this I tell myself) attacks. There are times when everything is far too big to face. Having someone else near only frightens me more-if this makes sense. Being honest. I hope you one day can learn how to handle these attacks better. After many years I am still learning and still struggle. Therapy helps some people.
Be kind and gentle with yourself.

Hi, @joanm65 -- I wanted to add my welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I am so sorry about the full-blown panic attacks and hot flashes you are experiencing and how scary those are, especially in the middle of the night, alone.

I thought you might like to meet other Connect members who have talked about agoraphobia, like @vdandy @johnlionheart @majic @lauriedr @susandenise @sharin @896038 and @oplifetrials. Hoping they may have some insights on agoraphobia and what may have helped them or their loved one in the midst of it.

@joanm65 -- how have things gone for you in the past couple days? How are you feeling?

I have always been told to breathe and to remember that what I am feeling is not dangerous. I do visualize, and that helps tremendously. Anytime I need to, I can look out my childhood kitchen window and see the sunlight shining through the pines. The Mimosa tree is the one I climbed up to read my books. I still love books, and find them comforting. There are times I don't even want to walk to the mailbox. I am one of the most extroverted introverts you will ever meet. I alternately love meeting people while also being slightly terrified to be in large gatherings. If I focus on what is just right in front of me, I tend to feel better. Thank you for sharing! You are not alone.

Please know that you are not weak. You are incredibly strong to be able to endure every day. I personally was not honest with my physician or counselors throughout my life. I figured there was already so much going on with me, why add another label to my long list?!! Just this past year I carefully explained to my doctor that I was very anxious most of the time, tended to worry too much, and felt totally stressed out. He had remarked previously that my blood pressure was too high, so I felt like it was time to come clean. After hearing my list of examples, he asked me if I had ever thought about taking medication for anxiety. I just about laughed in his face! I told him that I had felt that I needed it for a very long time. He prescribed a very low dose, and I don't even take it every day. I hope that you will continue to look for answers that will help you. It may be one thing or a combination of things. But I believe there is hope. Thank you so much for sharing.

My experience is similar in the way that my neurologist has prescribed anxiety medication ( low dose ) to be taken as needed - the knowledge that I have a tablet that will calm me down in about 30 minutes and not make me feel “ druggeded “ has been amazing to me - when I was on other medication “ take 3 times a day “ I felt like I was an addict - now I feel totally comfortable and my neurologist assures me that I will always know what to do - and he is right / I am
Back in control of my life and it is a great relief - I know it is not for everyone and there are days I wish I was on a more stabilizing medication but then my fighting spirit say “ come on we will make it”

Thank to my mayo trained neurologist who disagreed with my psychiatrist on what medication was right for me.

My experience with the low dose of medication is that I am calmed down enough to be able to concentrate on just one thing. I am able tp focus on just thing at a time. I, too, do not feel "drugged" I simply feel more in control. It is not a "high" at all for me. My doctor is very conservative, yet he thoroughly researches and believes in healing the whole person.

I think my reply got lost so i I try agsin - my neurologist who has worked at Mayo Clinic for 3 years Say that his role is to make my life. Better ( I am 67 years old ) he is not at all concerned about addiction as the dose is .5 and taken as needed and his prediction and recommendations is that I always carry a1-2 Ativan wherever I go ———comments please

Dear @mbabkk:
I have had anxiety issues and panic attacks for many years. After I learned to take my meds on THE exact schedule, the number and severity of my panic attacks dropped down greatly. Walgreens sells a little steel bottle with screw on lid that works great for me to carry 2 Ativan pills with me. It attaches to my house keys so I always have it with me. They even made me a small prescription label to put on it (so there is no doubt it is my medication and what it is)(I covered that label with clear packing tape so it lasts longer). I'm 58 yrs old and addiction runs in my family. I too was terribly worried about becoming addicted. But after some 10 years of carrying a couple pills with me, I have not developed any addiction. I have learned to be aware and recognize that little twinge/ feeling I get before a panic attack fully begins. I open my little bottle, get a pill, mash it with my teeth, hold it under my tongue for a bit, then swallow whatever is left. I use the 5-6-7 breathing technique while the med takes affect. That technique is inhale slowly through my nose while counting to five (taking all 5 seconds to inhale), hold that breath while counting to 6, then exhale very slowly taking the entire 7 second count to exhale (I usually exhale slowly through my mouth, but through my nose works ok also). It works better if I always inhale through my nose. After about 10 of these 5-6-7 breathings, the pill starts working as well as my mind has been occupied with my breathing counting and I smooth out....
Kindest Regards
@houseman

@mbabkk, Congratulations! I'm very envious. I wish my doctor felt this way. Good luck. @cognac