Thanks everyone for the help. I can't afford a lawyer, as it is I live in low-income housing now. I just don't want to do anything, until it gets so bad that it screams for "doing." Right now I have 5 loads of laundry waiting to be folded, and a sink full of dirty dishes waiting to be put in the dishwasher. I'll do them, eventually, but only when I absolutely must. My 2 girls down here have been very sweet, I see them about once a week ... I can't expect more because they have lives too. I pretty much just stay home all the time, watch movies, and sleep. I am adopting a dog, which will make me move more and give me something to focus on. Unfortunately my X lives down here too, about 20 miles away and he is "the best" when it comes to grandparents. It stands to reason as he's been down here far longer than I have and has a very large 2 story home on about 3 acres of land. He knows the grandkids really well and they know him ..... I'll never get to that point with them, and although this sounds awful, I don't much care. Still have no church ..... and only have gone a few times since I left MD. There I was going every week. I'm Western Orthodox. My daughter wants me to go to church with them on Easter .... there is no way I'll do that since my X, and their father also go there. They don't understand what's going on with me, and it's so complex I don't even try to tell them anymore. Somehow, my moving down here was to have made everything all right. It didn't, and probably made everything worse.
Thanks for listening.
abby