@paddingtonk I'm so sorry for your loss of your son. I didn't lose my son but my husband in 2000 you will never forget and you shouldn't just think of all the fun you had with him and the happy times how he made you love, and the joy he gave you . He will always be in your heart and you will think of him everyday but I don't think he would want you to be without him and you aren't he is with you as your guardian angle maybe thinking of him this way will give you some peace . Hoping time will heal some of your lose but you will never forget as I haven't my husband .