First, I send you my heartfelt condolences. In 2007 my elder daughter, the mother of my twin grandchildren, died from the injuries she received in a car crash. Tears are healing. My husband and I cried anytime we needed to for as long as we needed to. We also set up a buddy system for driving to prevent a car accident. One of us would be the driver and the other the lookout. Talk about your son all you want. Say his name and say it often. He was part of your life and always will be. Remember that love lasts forever. Is there something you could do in memory of your son? You might give books to the public library, for example. Contrary to popular belief, time doesn't heal all wounds. Rather, you learn to live with loss. Your son would want you to be happy and enjoy life. Life this day in honor of him.

@paddingtonk I'm so sorry for your loss of your son. I didn't lose my son but my husband in 2000 you will never forget and you shouldn't just think of all the fun you had with him and the happy times how he made you love, and the joy he gave you . He will always be in your heart and you will think of him everyday but I don't think he would want you to be without him and you aren't he is with you as your guardian angle maybe thinking of him this way will give you some peace . Hoping time will heal some of your lose but you will never forget as I haven't my husband .

Sarah, I am deeply sorry the loss of your son. I have buried a baby boy, it was almost three years ago that he died unexpectedly. I too used to have a cheerful, upbeat personality and things have changed so much. My friends who haven't experienced deep loss just don't get it, and it annoys me when they try to look on the bright side of my son's death. I don't think we ever need to find something positive about death do we? I am learning that grief and joy can live together. After my son's death, my six month old went into multi-organ failure and nearly died. We spent five weeks in the PICU and go back often to the hospital. I hear the flight for life helicopters and they haunt me. Every time I go back (in my mind) to the PICU and the near loss of my second son and the death of my first. It is hard to process all these things as not many of my friends have been through such trauma and shock. I wish you strength and thank you for sharing about your precious boy. He sounds like such a smart, charming little guy.

@paddingtonk . I want to tell you that my son died on August 13, 2016 by suicide. There are no words that will provide comfort, ever. But I have found comfort from ordinary people like those of us on this forum. People who have been through the unimaginable feelings that we have gone through and still go through. Blessings.

@paddingtonk I am so sorry for your loss. To me the grief that a person must feel from the loss of a child is unimaginable. I don't think you ever get over it but as time goes on you can hopefully have it more in the background of your emotions.
Hugs, JK