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Loss and Grief: How are you doing?
Loss & Grief | Last Active: Apr 7 12:18pm | Replies (932)Comment receiving replies
You are strong enough. I suggest you may want to read a book I bought on Amazon called, I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I lost my brother three and half years ago fairly suddenly. I was out of the country when he was rushed to the hospital and was diagnosed with cancer through out his body. He was only given 6 weeks to live but I was never made aware of this. He always protected me, and once again the word was out that no one was to tell me of his life expectancy. I had to put on the bravest face I could because I felt it was time for me to protect him. For me to step up and take care of him. When he passed away I was devastated and in shock. I have never experienced grief as I experienced it then. I did not know something could hurt physically so much. I was angry, in denial, guilty and overcome with such a sadness I can't even begin to describe. Someone told me at the wake, it's hard but it softens in time. I honestly could not see this ever happening. After about a year, the pain and sobbing subsided but it is never far from my mind. I don't think you ever get over someone you love. I think "softening" is the right word. It's not as raw. My personal opinion is that crying is good. You have to let it out and this may sound strange, but I bought a bunch of paint by number sets because it was the only thing that made me relax and stop thinking about him for a few hours. It's tough but it will get better. Don't give up.
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Hello @dd1931
I appreciate you sharing about your brother. Your description of grief "softening" is very appropriate. I will remember that!
Hello @dd1931
How are you doing? I hope all is going better for your and your family.
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Thank you - its been a rough 2+ years - already lost his dad on June 28th and his mother on Dec 26th - she was in nursing home since Dec 3 2014 with right side stroke - a myriad of other problems left or right cartriod artery completely blocked with the one in the back of neck she had one Carotid artery surgery which ever side to save her right side as she was right handed, she was having seizures which the dr she had & Hospital ER was not diagnosing till to late - then badgered her into the surgery - the last she went in with a mild seizure & Acute Myocardial infraction with STEMI near 100 percent blockage, sepsis, c-diff, Stage 3 Acute onset Kidney disease her the heart dr on call and her regular hear dr said heart catheterization would either do more damage than good or he would die during it - plus she had DNR and directive for not advance life support to maintain life - recommendation was "comfort care" she never was fully alert or conscious the whole 8 days (I sat with her 24/7 those 8 days except maybe 3 hours) - for one brief period in ER she did tell the daughter she loved her. His father was diagnosed the not making enough red-blood cells .also tested JAK2 V617 positive - was not to have been cancer - had blood transfusion every 2 weeks - was on arasnep for 8 months but had 90-95 % of the side effects. so when medicare refused to pay for it found out fully he done a almost 100% turn around he had a --- for a doctor - talked in analogies - would not talk side effects of medications - the small good outweighed all the side effects...
He is getting the best of care at IU Medical/Simon Cancer center - and what ever happens I know its God's will and I have survived and will I know I have done my best and am doing my best I have genealogy I do and I have a wesbsite on the history of the town i lived in and will go back to http://www.maxinkuckee.history.pasttracker.com/ I am trying to restore my 100+ year old home there which as been put on hold since 2017 ( http://www.maxinkuckee.history.pasttracker.com/lots_419_s_main/419_s_main.htm ) - but I will some how succeed at that -
Over the years I have lost loved ones - I know we are given only a limited time on earth - and when its our time God will take us Maybe this sounds insensitive but I have always believe our time on this earth was limited to God's will and that he will provide and take care of us.