Hello @tmmmrlts While I am sad to read of your losses, your post rang many bells with me! I lost my wife after her 14 year war with brain cancer. I, too, grow weary of folks, perhaps well meaning, who feel no compunction telling me how I should be grieving. Likewise those who shower me with meandering, often misquoted verse, which do nothing more than make themselves feel better. My personal worst reaction is when someone tells me 'well, she fought a good fight.' Her fight was horrific, not good and no matter what I still miss her more than I can stand some days.

Loss, as death, is unique to each individual! I think the worst of it is folks who have experienced no loss, but have read somewhere of the artificial 'stages of grief' and tell me where I should be grieving at this point in time.

My wife and I were married for 41 years so I have taken to responding to anyone who tells me how I should be handling my grief "Thanks, when she's been gone for 41 years and 1 day, you can offer your advice on how I should be grieving."

I hope you stay strong and have a solid, strong day!