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Loss and Grief: How are you doing?

Loss & Grief | Last Active: Apr 7 12:18pm | Replies (932)

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@reibur1951

Has it been this long... Update...

Went for the CT-Scan on the 1st - it was a miserable day of driving rained all the way to Indy and back was within 30-40 miles when it was down to only a barely visible drizzle...

The 5th was the drs/immunology and he is doing excellent with it there is no adverse effects side effects etc. with it - . with his actual dr. and not a replacement as last time (but all are within the clinical study he is on) The axillary and supraclavicular lymph nodes and tumor has remained stable the term used was "grossly stable" and no new lymphadenopathy tho some ground-glass nodules have appeared and some more this time they are carefully watching these there was mild emphysematous changes the next Ct-scan sometime in Dec. - but we has a heavy smoke up till April 2007

The trip down uneventful but but was late in infusion lab tho there before 12:30/1 p.m. The medication did not come till 3 got out at of building on road at 4 and stopped for some sandwiches it was getting dark and darker as we came north - very heavy traffic in Indy and went down to heavy moderate traffic which did not cease until hit Logansport 30 miles from home - its a 200 miles round trip each time...

One day week of Oct. 22 I was woke up around 9 a.m. by friends step-sister 1st time she has called in 6+ weeks. Started out by asking about her half-brother and then demanded to know the prognosis and what amount of time they had given him... I said many factors would determine that - so far the chemo/immunology is doing their job, it has not grown, its shrunk some, he has had no adverse effects to chemo/immunology and there is no new growths... I thought WTF...

Then she started in on her dad about what was going down - I told here the new grave-sites were re-purchased elsewhere & footing paid for (long story) the grave-sites were not paid for - only in his name and trustee claimed even if finished paid for we could not put a monument there for cremains - then got her to agree we could put it on top of his parents monument - but she had the right to move it without permission if she deemed it detrimental to the cemetery & care of and also had to sign off on the partially paid for graves with no re-payment of what was paid on them & had to sign off on the 2 empty graves where his parents were buried (again no re-reimbursement) so they could re-sell them for a profit and would have the monument hopefully paid for in a few weeks... then she started in on how I was going to pay for it... This was added expense and took away from the cremation house money.

Then she started in on the properties that I was awarded adverse possession on and she knew was filed and none of the kids fought - of course their dad told them if they did not like the way he done they could kiss his ass and if not high enough... All I said that it was up to me and my friend with lung cancer her half-brother and she informed me it was not and kept arguing over the graves and property and I just hung up on her... The daughter who is get the 5A for her house called and said she talked to her-half sister and was informed by half-sister "the properties were still in the grandmothers name, she proceeded to ask if I would stay and take care of her half-brother since "he did not have anything to offer me"... then she informed she was upset because she is not get the entire 69.9A she was only promised over the years 5A for her house and no more... Again i thought WTF... and yes I attempted not to cry but did all day off and on and even pulled out the whiskey and coke before I went to bed...

The adverse possession in my name was done to take care of her dad as he did not want to go into a nursing home and neither does her half-brother; plus he wanted me taken care of since do there would be no meddling from them and me having to "beg" for money for care of their father. All work and have left everything up to me - his care - taking to drs. etc. etc. same with the brother... Oh well their father was not as dumb as they thought he was... he knew he wanted son and I taken care of not left out int the cold Will at least have the cash rent for the farm ground but if like in past due in March/November. November was given when father died so could have for cremation etc.... So that done that in...

I have been here for 24+ years and taken care of her mother (who is in nursing home since Dec. 3rd, 2004), helped take care of her grandmother, done for her and her kids etc. The brother lived with and took care of his grandmother and helped pay off the mortgage that she took out on the bare farm ground her place & the 40A it was a 15 year mortgage and there was 12 years left still owed after she died. Both the sisters work so you know where what he out come would of be nursing home... The never offered to help money wise in any way with the mortgage or property taxes...

Cost over $2000 to get this done and their father did have me call the lawyer and went with me and it was not done behind his back i was done with his blessing... I have one option of turning everything over back to his name and over to the state and everything will be lost...

The 1st property interested in was sold (it was the brick); the 2nd in line the wind power has been sold also drove down by since could not see a real estate sign from main road - it sits barely off on a country road I wish i had the furniture they were throwing into the dumpster out of it,,, in the real estate ads it looked in excellent condition and thing wrong with it... the one remains ..

The buyer called the 29th or 30th said the title insurance company would not issue a policy because the way i acquired until a year more is up... said something afraid of lawsuits..... So I am still sitting on the earnest money not sure if it has to be returned or not... at least it did draw $2,82 cents worth of interest 🙂

Have to come up with rest of property taxes; and got bill the 2nd for filing the order of default judgement 3 months later and I had asked in August if I owed anymore money or would owe more money... So I am awaiting the buyers call to go talk to the lawyer so he can explain more I mentioned if land contract can be done till year is up so the buyer does not loose the money of the appraisal fees ($500) and I know there are lawyer fees and i am not sure what else he has assumed in expenses...

And yes I attempted not to cry all day but put my efforts into trying to figure how to re-stack and store all the boxes packed no i am not emptying out for now can live without the stuff I have boxed up....

So now I am re-grouping, re-organizing and trying to figure out how to salvage this 1975 mobile home to make it more live-able for the time being.... Hoping the van will last if not will be walking basically have an old 4-wheel drive truck but barely trust it around here it needs a lot of work and is un-comfortable to drive and maneuver.

The daughter & her husband who is to get the 5A have not been told as yet that they can not get it for at least another year so I still have that yet to face... They are only around when they want something 🙁 Make promise and I have to ask, beg, plead to have anything done by him, the daughter well forget it; she did bring us a turkey couple of weeks ago because she had to clean her freezer out for new food as her hours of work was being cut and she wanted to start laying in a winters supply....

I can't even lay in a supply as transportation to I.U. & bills come first then food. I am selling some stuff on eBay glassware trinkets but it nothing of great value just can not give away to a local thrift store... to late for garage sales and they have never been productive for me...

I will survive... I won't give up... God will provide... and Krama will strike the others... And yes I am remaining around to care for the son no matter what and hanging till the bitter end unless my health gives up or i die.... They would only get control slap him into a half-way house or nursing home and make off with everything... Their work their lives are more important... they have proven that with their dad let alone their brother....

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Replies to "Has it been this long... Update... Went for the CT-Scan on the 1st - it was..."

Oh my, and I was feeling sorry 4 myself. Shame on me. I applaud you, dude, for your fortitude, your ability to "Keep on keeping on". Your energy level is amazing.

Talked with buyer, lawyer they are extending the agreement/contract out for final closing in Sept 2019 barring any new complications offered additional amount of down payment above the 10% but I said no - will have the cash rent for 2019. Just did not feel it was right in case anything goes haywire... I told lawyer if its the sisters I would definitely make sure the nursing home got it all for the 14+ years care for mother/step-mother plus the judgements against her for hospital bills she refused to pay ... I can walk away with nothing and find a way somehow to care for the son... just wish my house was restored and livable would be the simple solution....

Lawyer is goign through with the survey on the one property to separate the 5A off I hope it can be deeded off since no money will be involved with me bearing all the cost of the survey, appraisal lawyer fees and what ever else

I've got the property taxes finished paid for the year on the other two properties; found out the adverse possession lawyer
did not file properties into my name until Oct. 26 and default judgement was ordered Aug. 10th I hate what I am thinking since the son-in-law recommended the lawyer trying not to go there but....

my Culver house property taxes paid for too as did not pay the spring as needed the money to take son to Indy and friend to his CBC's and blood transfusion he was not happy that i opted not to pay but "Shit happens" and you do with what you got when family refused to help out...

Went to pay for the crematory house and specifications was changed for foundation raising the cost and funeral director was not informed - so he is making sure if takes effect mid-year or 1st of year and if the Masonic Lodge as a whole made the changes or just the one who issues out the gravesites nothing has been simple but I am not letting him absorb the extra cost deceased husband worked with cement/concrete and it gets costly I know and the $155-200 per graves times however many quoted to be poured for October can dig into ones pocket very heavily I want to be fair a bout this

Not started on how going to fix this place up as yet... trying to decide just how much its worth to do it since its a 1975 mobile home but it has to suffice for now... Got to see what the survey etc. going to cost before can dig in here got some scrape to haul off to start it...

Got my eye exam also scheduled for the 29th... I lost my glasses day made cremation arrangements and never did find them... friend had been badgering me to go have new ones for over 2 years finally got his wish but had to wait because not enough money to go around...

Hopefully things will settle down now.... praying for a mild winter... praying the van holds out... and know Miracles do happen... will make it through the winter It can not be any tougher than last winter :-)..... asl always I know God will provide and look over us....

Next dr./immunology on the 26th with Ct. on Dec. 13th and few days after dr./immunology again.....

A Happy Blessed Thanksgiving to all... will be alone and if not considering goign to the Eagles in WInamac where belong as they are having a free thanksgiving dinner. A lot to be thankful for things could be worse....