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Loss and Grief: How are you doing?
Loss & Grief | Last Active: Apr 7 12:18pm | Replies (932)Comment receiving replies
Hello and thank you for writing and asking us to share our experiences. I had so many losses so close together it was numbing I guess is how I will describe it, First I lost my fiance to lung cancer. I cared for him while he was sick. We had only been together for 2 years. I thought his family had accepted me but i found out later that was not true. Anyway, I watched him die the whole time thinking he was not dying. He was too young. He was only 56 and strong. He finished all his chemo treatments so I thought it was a side effect of the treatment. I was on the phone with rescue and telling them when he was in the background saying things are getting dark. I thought he needed oxygen. So I hung up and ask him. He shook his head no. (Graphic) He was throwing up blood and when he finally stopped I said "oh good glad you are done with that" I took the cup from his hand took set it down and was talking to him. I then realized he was not with me I thought. So I told him what he always said. " you are not done with me yet" and then "I love you" I was sure he said it back and that was the end. I was so calm on the phone and dealing with it all. I know God was with me. But when I seen the paramedics come in I broke down and yelled why are you not trying to revive him! That was my first. loss.
Second was my best friend from Jr. High school. We always kept in touch or found each other if we moved no matter what. I lost her to a boating accident. The canoe tipped over. I heard she made sure her grand children were ok and then was swept away by the water. I kept asking God to please find her. I finally heard "I have her" I knew God was listening and letting me know he had her but I knew she was gone.
Replies to "Hello and thank you for writing and asking us to share our experiences. I had so..."
@littleonefmohio, Sounds pretty rough to me. At first you were calm. I'm wondering about a while latter when it sinks in. Some form of shock or disbelief, like you said to the paramedics, "Why are you not trying to revive him...". That's why you're here and these people are great. This is the first time I saw your name, stay around for a while because 'here' has helped me a lot. Littleone, I'm a bit stubborn but I can still listen. You said "I knew God was listening".
I have a little friend who's going through this kind of stuff, her husband didn't come home from work...
I like your name Littleone.
Thank you for responding. I will be sticking around for awhile. I am sorry to hear about your friend. I hope she is doing ok.
@littleonefmohio, This morning she told me Joe left her last October. She's pretty strong but I could tell she really needed to talk as her eyes watered a little. I'm rooting for her and Joe. He's touchy and so is Mezi, but Joe is wondering what he did as Mezi told me.
Aww. I hate that for her. Yes people and family tell me I am strong too but honesty its just a front I put on. So it is good she has you to talk too.
@littleonefmohio
Hi littleone, You said, "I heard she made sure her grand children were ok and then was swept away..." I re-read a lot of post's and notice something new each time. Pretty good memory of a hero grandmom, I think anyway.
No one wants to lose a good friend but she can always be a hero in your mind. Bet she is already their.
Oh I agree she is a hero. She was a smart and good woman. She loved her kids and grandkids so much. I would think we would all do that for our children and grandchildren.
@littleonefmohio, I'm not sentimental at all but your little post..."Oh I agree she is a hero." I sent you some flowers. Maybe you can pick a few for your friend.
Hope your feeling better littleone. Some stuff just hurts!
Thank you.
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Hello @littleonefmohio
I am so glad that you joined our discussion about loss and grief. Losses that are close together are difficult to deal with. I appreciate you sharing your experiences and feelings - getting those feelings out is very important for you and will also help others to identify their feelings as well.
How long ago did these losses occur? I look forward to hearing from you again.
Teresa