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Loss and Grief: How are you doing?
Loss & Grief | Last Active: Apr 7 12:18pm | Replies (932)Comment receiving replies
I think, especially in these types of conversations, it's important for us to remember we are each unique. In that each of us are individuals complete with our own differing needs, points of view, beliefs, and personal situations which influence our views of life, perceptions, and our beliefs.
One is not correct just as another is not incorrect. Our views and lives are like art ... some folks love Picasso while others love Monet. One is not good art while one bad. There are just different views and we each have our own tastes in art.
Likewise we each grieve in our own way and for our own personalized reasons. As I have continued in my own journey with grief I've come to more fully realize, now more than ever before, how individualized grief is.
Just my two cents, plain.
Replies to "I think, especially in these types of conversations, it's important for us to remember we are..."
I've seen that analogy before of the tracks side by side - loss on one side and the present and future on the other track. It is a great word picture!
Teresa
@jimhd I'm glad you mentioned grief over loss of a job. It is not something talked about often. I think it is very much like the grief we feel when some one dies. Any thing that is such a part of your life, that is part of your identity that is suddenly taken from you forever leads to grief. Fortunately you'll find a new normal for yourself and things will improve. However the stress (even if you where able to take retirement) is still going to impact you for a while. I was listening last night to a show where the doctor said stress can lead to memory issues and other problems. Great just what we all need when we are grieving and stressed! Hang in there. I think you hit the proverbial nail on the head with your post.
Kim
@jimhd Hi, That memory issue is real and the other problems is real.
It was bugging me that I couldn't get a picture of Mary in my head after that. I told a friend that I was sure it'd be temporary but the only picture I've got right now is when she was here to pick up her furniture and I made her cry, she looked pretty cute that day but whatever, always called her my little hippie chick. She was wearing a black and yellow, large men's shirt which hung to her knees. Didn't mean to make her cry though.
@kdawn32, This is probably not news to anyone other than me, but I was watching some church TV yesterday and the speaker explained grief as a form of separation anxiety. That made perfect sense to me in that when I quit drinking, I had separation anxiety (grief) and also when I stopped smoking. Anything that has become a "friend" and is taken away causes the same reaction even if it is an inanimate object.
I agree, whenever you loose something or someone that has been a part of you, you suffer separation anxiety.
good thought.
Kathy
@gman007, I've got some cigars left but not enough to get to payday. Gonna be a toughie.
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@IndianaScott
There are so many grief triggers. One for me is the loss of my vocation. I know that many people feel lost when they retire, but I had to retire 10+ years sooner than I expected, and it happened when I was in a very bad place mentally and emotionally. I have been affected more by that loss than the deaths of my parents and a younger sister.
Some things stick with us for the rest of our lives. I'm grateful for the people who have helped me find the strength to move forward. The way I think of it is that my moving forward is a track that runs parallel to the track of things like loss, past trauma or damaged relationships. Those things will possibly be close by, but I'm not having to carry them around all the time, like rocks in my backpack. Or as Dr. Seuss put it, rocks in my socks. (I think it was the good doctor who wrote that.)
Jim