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Loss and Grief: How are you doing?
Loss & Grief | Last Active: Apr 7 12:18pm | Replies (932)Comment receiving replies
My Mother is a narcissist. My bio. Dad died as a work related accident when he was 43. I was 14. My mom remarried a wonderful man that lost his wife due to car accident that occurred the same week my Dad died. I was 15. My stepdad was wonderful. After 46 years of marriage he died last Feb. at the age of 93. My Mom had isolated him as she had my bio.Dad. He became over the years very withdrawn and depressed but very caring to me. My Mom was EVEN jealous of our relationship. On we deal occasions she accused me of having an affair with him. He truly treated me with the love a father shows his daughter. She regularly screams at others even people who are to do services for HER. I only came through counselling this fall and winter understanding what she is. She totally is an overt narcissist. I am 63 my Mother is 86 and I am overwhelmed with grief in the loss of my stepDad and appalled at her treatment of him. She is a very heathy independent narcissist. I used to be her "feed" but I am now fodder. My younger 1/2 brother is her golden child. My sweet older bio. Brother is in 4th stage renal cancer and SHE is so cruel to him I CAN'T believe it.
Replies to "My Mother is a narcissist. My bio. Dad died as a work related accident when he..."
@claf, It's fascinating to me how this group helps. Never found something like this and I did search for some groups before this event happened to me. Stay around and let it out, it's good stuff. You been hear long. Been hear for some days but not long at all.
Your pain, no one really knows but you, but here we understand what your going through. Sorry for your loss, and the accusation against you. Some of us have had that too and it is a strange thing. Right at the moment a Christian lady is telling me I'm being punished by God. I don't believe that at all. Things happen and you're in pain. There a saying or something, "It hurts when they steal your dreams away." You want peace and love but people can be just opposite of that. Hope you have or find someone you can share with.
Cruelty, some people think they aren't, but the people left behind think different.
Anytime someone says something like God's punishing you, they have lost all credibility with me. It's a nasty thing to say. As our pastor says, "they have a spirit of dumb!". Love it.
Jim
A big Amen to that Jim.
@claf and @muppey Isn't it amazing that people think God is that way. Glad you both know it is not the truth. My sister (who always talks about what a great Christian she is and how she never did anything wrong) got mad at my brother a couple months ago. She told him that because he had never gotten married (had a pretty long term engagement that broke up badly) that other Christians looked down on him. REALLY? My brother had a degree in Biblical studies from Multinoma Bible institute. I said did you ask her else was never married? Jesus still loves her, but really.
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@claf Stay strong. It is great that you are getting some help. Dealing with difficult people like your Mom can be draining. I am so sorry to hear about your brothers failing health. I hope you get to spend some time with him and show him he is a loved valued member of your family even if your mother can't.