Hi Mamma,
I have read your initial sharing with our group. I can identify with your diagnosis.....I most recently joined this group, and I have suffered with Bi-Polar 1, Alcoholism (Self-Medicated for 22 years) and subsequently Sleep Apnea, COPD, CAD, and Kidney Disease. My Bi-Polar first manifested when I was 17 years old. I didn't understand why my personality changed and it became difficult to interact with others. I began drinking and stopped maturing. In order to get along (function) with others, I would study people and then act as they did. I wasn't diagnosed with Bi-Polar until age 30. I tried antidepressants and lithium. Lithium made me a neutral person - didn't feel anything. Antidepressant made me manic. I couldn't drink with these meds. so I decidd that nothing was wrong with me. Ten years later, I became a member of AA, quit drinking, and believed that my problems had been solved. I continued to suffer from depression and mania. I finally asked for help when I was 68. I've been on several medications and had some relief. Of course, I've been hospitalized a few times, but most recently in a psych ward due to being weaned off of my Cymbalta. I was treated in the hospital, and started on two meds and I have responded in a very positive way. The treatment received in the hospital was so very good. I finally accepted the fact that I am Bi-Polar
and the acceptance has really freed me from negative feelings. I just wanted to share my story with you. There is hope for us. I hope you find a Doctor that really helps you.

Charlie75