I have been listening to Sheryl Sandberg's "Option B" as I walk and her psychologist - a friend who was close to her husband and her - gave her the three P's. 1. It is not Personal - you did nothing to cause this tragedy and could not have prevented it. 2. It is not Pervasive - it does not involve every part of your life and will do so only if you allow it. 3. It is not Permanent - this goes back to my point about every day prior to depression nor every day after will I feel this far down. Of course she was dealing with the sudden death of her husband and had massive resources that most of us don't have, but the answers came from within and not from money, vacations, nannies, etc...My experience has been that grief, or loss of any kind has followed the pattern of depression. Unfortunately, I have not found that depression does not come back, but I believe the fact that you d=got through it once makes each successive time suck a little less; still horrible, but not quite as much so.