Hello again @goldenretriever. I am at loss for words at the sorrow you must be feeling. I am so glad that you are both talking about your lives together and that you know how he feels right now. Please take care of your self and please receive my hug to both of you.

@goldenretriever, you and Jim sound a lot like my mom and dad. In the last months, they had some of the best conversations of their marriage. They are conversations that my mom cherishes still and yet. He's been gone 5 years this Christmas. My dad was also not afraid to die. That helps, doesn't it? You're quite right that people often bounce back for a time, and those moments can be challenging as well as gifts, as you get pulled into reframing hope with every time he rallies and every time he declines.

I trust that with your faith, you also have community and people who are there to support you as you focus on Jim. Caregiving can be isolating. Often people don't know how to offer help or what to say. If someone says, "let me know if there is anything I can do", take them up on their offer. They will be grateful for your direction. Be specific. Ask them to pick up your groceries or bring by some prepared meals, shovel the snow, or whatever you might need done. Don't be afraid to ask. Think of it as you giving them the opportunity to be useful. Everyone wants to be needed and feel useful.

We're here when you need to talk about anything or to just be a virtual shoulder. Take care.