@cdcc
There are a ton of meds that have varying systems in which they act upon. I know, because I have tried no fewer than 75 combinations - methodically and with great psychiatric oversight and referrals to expert “super specialists” for consultation. I am better today for that effort. Without these meds, my mood tumbles fast and furiously.

I work in healthcare and have tremendous respect for the family practitioner. It is impossible, however, to meaningfully stay abreast of all areas of medicine. I urge you to research thoroughly to find a highly regarded pychiatrist in your area. If insurance coverage gets in the way - a consult, at the very least. A good psychiatrist follows ongoing evidenced-based practice with the most recent research.

@dear parus and cdcc: when reading your posts it sounds like my life. i do care much for you and the others like us who have been so abused. both my mother AND my father beat me. with the belt (buckle part), breaking dishes on my head, etc., etc., etc. they told me i was stupid, a whore (6 years old), no good for nothing, many curse words and whatever else . i would be picked up by my hair and thrown against a wall. not allowed food. when there came a look in my mother's eyes i knew to run. but it did not help she got me. my father all of a sudden just went insane and lashed out at me and also beat me. they bore 4 daughters. i was number two in line. they allowed my three sisters to do the same to me and i was not allowed to defend myself. i had to wash the families clothes and bedding in the bath tub. i was the one to clean the house and etc. when i opened the refrigerator door guess what? there was a half a glass of water and a squeezed lemon. but they went out to eat. one time i remember we were at a chinese restaurant, they were seated but not me. i had to stand and i was not allowed to eat. i asked "why" as usual "what did i do?". i was told "when we get home i will be beaten" . when this was done in public i was embaresed. when i was nine years old my father hit me so hard i went backwards about ten feet and my sisters and both parents all laughed at me. i went into a corner of the yard to hide my face and cry. it was there i saw a tiny little blue morning glory flower hiding in the corner that slowly stopped my crying and a good feeling overcame me. to this day i will never forget this. so much more was done.
i do remember when both my mother and father got "THIS LOOK" in their eyes i now know in my mind that THEY WERE MENTALLY IMPAIRED. yes remember, THEY ARE THEY MENTALLY ILL .
it took me most of my life to somehow slowly and only partially overcome this HORROR. there is so much more to tell but i would have to write a book. my parents are both dead. my sisters still continue their horror onto me. i am alone BUT, I BELIEVE IN MYSELF NOW. oh yes i still have the anxieties, nightmares, etc. i think they will be with me forever but they are less than before. i have learned to love myself.
please remember, the only way we are different is because we understand more than the average person about mental illness and what it does to ourselves and to others. there is nothing less about us, only more of caring and giving. BELIEVE in yourself. with love, peach barbara

@peach414144 I have tears in my eyes now as I read your post. Those are terrible things you are went through. I feel very sorry for that. I can understand it, because my childhood was very similar, but I was not singled out for abuse. I was often beaten and ridiculed. As I was growing, I was more and more in fear. My whole life is affected with that abuse.
Some two years ago, I tried to let things out. I wrote a book and it was published. The topic was child abuse, it was written from the perspective of the child. However, I was soon hushed. Some people I thought of them as my friends started to judge it, telling me it was wrong thing to do, I should not write about such things and so on. I was very dissapointed and I had another depression episode. With my book I wanted to raise awareness about problem of child abuse. Currently, I write second book, but those people will not know about it. I will not violate their comfort anymore.
Again, I'm very sorry you had to suffer so much. I'm happy that you learn to love youself, too. You are not less than other people, no matter that your family wanted you to feel that.

@cdcc “you damn better remember all the pain you caused us". Abusers like to make their victims feel guilty, like they are the ones causing problems and deserve to be punished.

dear theotherone, until those people who have told you not to write about your abuse have walked in your shoes they should wake up and face the realities of life. who are they to tell you these things. perhaps they are jealous of your being published and for whatever else is in their minds. or, perhaps they cannot and will not face true life. why can they not accept their friends sadness and horrors and stand by their friend? you are the friend to continue to accept them. there are people in this world who do understand and accept you. continue to love yourself. we do care.

I am published also. trying to help others from what I have been through, and writing more currently for a self help book that I hope will be more helpful than much of the umpteen self help books already out there (I may be dreaming and it be just one more added to the pile) am a poet, writer, artist. with web site on healing through creativity. also started forum on munchausen by proxy if anyone needs it. mbp is so rarely recognized there aren't many people on any forums so they tend to wither away, and there are few resources. on this site and elsewhere. also have struggled with Stockholm syndrome even to this day at 65 after a lifetime of trying to overcome it.

@pendragonart I would like to see your website. Can you send the link to me?

http://pendragonart.tripod.com/visionaryart/ I haven't had time to edit and update for almost a year i'm embarrassed to say but will appreciate any feedback positive or negative that will help me improve it when I get time...I don't have the time to put into this forum that I would love to put in in replies and likes as well as posts....I wish I did. this is a wonderfully helpful forum for these issues.