@tonbop - I'm still living through it. My daughter has experienced depression at various times in her life, and understands. My son has accepted it, but I don't think he understands at all, and has been holier than thou toward me. My wife is tired of living with it, and feels that she needs me to attend to her needs more. She thinks and has said that I should have figured it out by now, and moved on (from depression and all the rest ). She tends to get on me about all the meds I take and thinks that I am over medicated, and I don't really need all of them.

I keep going by the grace of God, and by my weekly therapy session.

Jim

The medication is another area of discussion all together! I have to hide what I’m taking because one doctor said she didn’t agree with what I was taking before she even spoke to me and he took her word as Gods word! My husband wants me to communicate how I’m feeling but when I do he finds reasons why I have caused myself to be that way, in reality it’s just life happening and I’m managing the best way I know how! I just look at my husband and I see such misery and contemptment in his eyes. It’s the worse feeling to know I’ve made him feel that way and that I’m helpless to change it. Anyhow, now more left to say about that!

@tonbop

I often don't say anything about how I feel. If I do, it's just my attitude that's making me feel that way. I just write about it in my journal, and I rate my days on a scale of 1-10. I had been up to 6, after 7 or 8 years of effort, but I've been down to low 5 lately. I look forward to my therapy Thursday. He's the only person I know that I can tell everything.

Do you have anyone like that in your life? It's a real gift to have a good listener.

Jim

Yea, I’m pretty good at “wearing the masks” but being a mom to 3 boys (my husband included as one, a 5yr old, & a 11yr old) with no support or help from family I find I get overwhelmed easily and that’s hard to hide. I do have a therapist and everyone hear on this chat but other than that I have no one to turn to. I try to journal but that even seems overwhelming (& I love to write!).

@tonbop - I'm well acquainted with the feeling of being overwhelmed. It keeps me in the recliner often. I was thinking yesterday about the need to talk with someone, and became more depressed, knowing that I have no one other than the therapist to talk to. I do feel some guilt because I don't tell my wife how I feel emotionally or physically, because it didn't used to be this way. I just can't handle having my words minimized or dismissed or used against me in a judgmental way. And I feel guilty for talking negatively to my therapist about my wife.

For me, November is a time to be thankful for the people in my life, and I have a list of them in my mind to whom I'm going to write thank you notes. I'll thank my therapist for the huge gift he's given me - the gift of listening. There should be a therapist appreciation month.

Like you, being able to express my thoughts to this group is a good part of maintaining my sanity. I have the title of volunteer mentor, but sometimes I step out of that role and become simply a member of the group. That's important to me, and I'm thankful that the leaders of Connect recognize and allow me to step back and receive from the group.

I appreciate the input of each person here.

Jim

Thank you for the reply and friendly reminder of gratitude

GOD BLESS JIM. WERE ALL IN THE SAME BOAT. GET WELL.