I lost the thread and finally found it again. I've been reading the replies from "talking frankly" and doing a whole lot of thinking. My birthday was a couple weeks ago and during one of those sleepless nights it hit me. Hard. How many more birthdays do I get? Wow. I went from there. It was hard to shake the train of thought but it still is a question we all think about. I guess I was blocking myself from going there. Not a very good thought to have but I need to be responsible about things and make sure my husband knows what needs to be taken care as far as running the house and where papers are, etc. Since I handle all of that. Time to put on the big girl britches!