Teresa, thanks for the reply. I have been on various meds for years. Several have been tried. I cannot say that any have made a profound difference. For me, I poured myself into my work in the years following the loss of our son. I worked many hours per week and more than 50% of weekends. I felt like I had that part of my life under control and was proud for once. Then, I got word that I was being moved to a "corporate" position and they were giving my job to a much younger gentleman who I spent a few years training and mentoring. So, I concluded then that I had failed as a father and now failed at my career. Believe me, for two years people have tried to convince me otherwise, but I live it, I know how it works, and I just latch onto the truth. So, no, I don't have a magic solution for finding joy in life. I wish I did. I am blessed in so many ways, for which I have abundant gratitude, but that does not get me over the big mountains. Of course, I am grateful that I am generally able to function daily. Some days it is a struggle. It brings to mind the old saying .. "fake it till you make it!". I believe that originated with a whole different set of issues, but it seems pretty applicable to living with severe depression as well. Make yourself get up and go every day. It is painful, but the alternative is far worse I believe.

Jump to this post