@parus

I've heard the same line about anger, but I don't know if I agree with it. Maybe it's true for some people. I think it's way too simplistic.

I don't think there's any one answer for the depression question. I don't even know what really caused me to be depressed. Traumatic events. Brain chemistry. Being a sensitive person. Wanting to make people happy. Guilt and shame that I didn't deserve, for the most part.

But why is the person I meet on the street depressed? Does it have anything to do with anger toward themselves or is it anger someone else directs toward them?

Who can say?

I know that some things are usually accompanied by depression - anxiety, PTSD, chronic pain, stress.

I had a long session with the therapist today. I wanted to talk with him about, among other things, the effect of PTSD on my depression. I needed to talk about it, but it wasn't easy. He talked with me about going on living when I'm in the dark hole. Right now I feel stuck and not sure I want to go on. Sorry. Not a very helpful thing to say when I'm supposed to be a helper in the group.

Tomorrow will be another day.

Jim

@parus

The anger turned inward is a fairly common description of what depression is all about. I have my doubts as well, but I'm not sure if my doubts are based on facts or just what I want to believe (hmmmm). If we are all honest about depression, we will probably admit to anger about the way we have been treated (or neglected) in one (or many) ways. For some reason, anger is not considered a good thing, but it is an emotion, like all of the rest emotions. This sounds like a good discussion topic.

Would you like to begin a Discussion on the topic of anger and depression?

Teresa

I'm glad you saw your therapist! Please don't do anything to harm yourself Talk to us here, we are ready to listen anytime.

Hi @kdo0827
Your advise was very good. A lot of wisdom. Thanks for helping many people in our group.
charlie75

Jim @jimhd -- sounds like you had a really good session with your therapist yesterday, even though it wasn't easy. Reflecting on the session and after a night's rest, are you feeling a little bit less stuck today? You are a helper in the group. The strength of community is built on knowing we are all human, and that helpers need support sometimes, too.

@lisalucier

I haven't thought much about how I feel today. One of those days when I just coast my way through. I burned trash, took out the recycling and started taking the Christmas lights down. So, I have a sense of accomplishment. I'm smelling the pulled pork my wife has in a pot, working its way toward our dinner plates. Food has to be really pungent before I smell it. I think neuropathy is affecting my sense of smell. I seem to be having increasing trouble reading and driving. I've been seeing double for awhile. Most of the time I can ignore it, but not always.

Depression, anxiety, PTSD and suicidal ideation have been a challenge for me and my therapists. Often, guilt is an underlying contributor. Today I'm trying not to dwell on the issues I covered yesterday with the therapist.

Thanks for your kind words.

Jim

I can see that a bit in my depression, but I think the more correct link for me would be guilt which can become anger directed at oneself. I, like Jim, think my brain is improperly wired and therefore, to say my depression is caused by "this" is overly simplistic. Reality and my thinking are so far separated when I am depressed, that it would be hard to say this is the cause.

@jimhd I try not to think often about how I really feel as this leads downward...I am here and all I can acknowledge. At times I wonder what my life may have been without all of the abuse...probably what it is now.

@parus

But probably not. There's no way to know the what ifs. All we can know is what is. What was, is done and can't be undone, partly unfortunately and partly fortunately. We grieve for all kinds of things, and grief could last a week, or it could last for a lifetime. A fair amount of depression and anxiety and PTSD springs out of grief. Something I know is that no one can make me stop grieving. Either I do or I don't. It hit me hard a few weeks ago when my therapist told me that trauma memories never go away. No one had ever verbalized that to me. I think that I'd always hoped they would go away.

I've told my current therapist things I'd never told anyone. Some of the things had been stuffed back in the hidden corners of my mind. Pulling them out of the dark places has made me understand how and why I've arrived at where I am today. Not that it makes things easier.

Has knowledge been at all empowering for you? It has me. I think it's helped me know and accept myself and to deal with people connected with the traumas. Maybe I've separated the people from the hurts. I don't know if that makes any sense. Have you experienced some of that?

Jim