I have written before regRding my dealing with long term depression. I was doing pretty well but have begun feeling like i’m Slipping back. I have cut all ties with people I knew and spend my time with my daughter who has some special needs. I have been widowed for 12 years after 52 years of a somewhat tumultuous marriage. I think about the many things I did wrong and so badly wish I could have been a nicer person. I was raised in the Midwest in a home where my parents fi ghting was the standard that was there every day. Other terrible things happened and so many I blame myself for. I was a child but I could have behaved better instead of ad ding to be he the e siting problems. I ruminate on my past. And see that I wasted my whole life. I have become a useless being who adds nothing to this world. I’m just here. Am going to go back into therapy hoping that might give me some relief. I’m onmeds and have managed to stay out of the hospital for the depression the past two years. I have had two bouts of cancer during the past 5 years and hold my breadth each time I go or Che Kip’s. I think…. not will it comeback. But just when. I’m sorry for sounding so negative but I can’t seem to hold on to any positive thoughts. I need some people to talk to.