@amberpep, Good for you to send the information to your family! I am sorry that they have not responded, though. I know how much that would mean to you. I hope that in time they will respond to you in a supportive way.

Here's what I've experienced: When I was first diagnosed with a non-treatable liver disease, many family members either ignored, or denied it, because I "just looked to healthy". I guess they thought I was lying! Later when it progressed, and external physical changes were obvious, those same people said, "Why didn't you tell us". I share this to let you know that you are not alone in dealing with this pattern of behavior.

I am sending a virtual hug.
Rosemary

@rosemarya and @amberpep I think rosemary is correct. When you look good it's difficult for people to imagine that you have a potentially terminal condition. The good side of that is that you are seen as someone to be pitied, which was important to me.
JK

Hi rosemary ..... wow, what is it with these kids? Aren't they supposed to be the knowledgeabe, enlightened generation. Oh yes, I forgot, they can still stick their heads in the sand.
I'm sorry about your liver situation ..... that's a bummer for sure. Are you feeling fairly well? I hope so.
abby

Abby @amberpep - I haven't figured out why people don't get it when it comes to not only mental illness, but any illness they don't understand. I've surely seen that, even in my own kids. Our daughter can accept and be sympathetic, but our son tends to be judgmental and blaming, which is hard to take. Sometimes I don't mind that he lives in Indianapolis and I'm in Oregon. But, to be fair, he has softened over the years. He found out from me that his attitude was unacceptable and that the things he had to say about me should be said to me and not discussed with people who only knew his opinions and had never met me. I haven't had any negative vibes from him since. He was younger and thought he was all grown up. By now, he's been married to a nurse practitioner for quite a few years and has a 4 year old daughter. We have a pretty good relationship, and I don't think he holds the same views he did back then. Things do improve in time. I think it can be hard for our kids to see us age and have problems. Sometimes I know that I need to be more understanding and patient with them.

Jim

@amberpep, I realize that there is a stigma that remains in our society and families with regards to mental health issues. And they refuse to acknowledge them. I shared my experience to hopefully let you know that physical illnesses, too, can be denied by friends and loved ones. I think we all share this similarity to some degree. I want you to know that I think I can understand some of your frustration.

Abby, That experience is long gone. I was blessed to receive an organ transplant in 2009 - liver kidney. I am now healthier and more active than most of my prior 'doubters'. You are very kind to ask.
Rosemary

@rosemary. @amberpep oops, left a very important word out there. I meant to say, that you are NOT seen as someone to be pitied. That was very important to me so I worked hard at maintaining a healthy appearance.
JK

@jimhd that must have hurt when your son was not very understanding. I have been so fortunate that our son is sincerely concerned about us. He has been calling every day since my TKR to check up on me, and his lovely girlfriend, a nurse, has also called. He is in Denver for work this week so they are both checking up on me! I tease him that he figured we needed a nurse in the family, thus he got involved with her! She really is nice though and very family oriented.
JK

@contentandwell -I assumed that you intended to have the word not in that sentence. 🙂

Jim

@jimhd thanks Jim. Obviously you “know me”, but others, newer to the group may not have been able to deduce that.
JK