Connect← Return to How to set boundaries with an adult child who threatens suicide?
Discussion
How to set boundaries with an adult child who threatens suicide?
Mental Health | Last Active: 4 days ago | Replies (60)Comment receiving replies
Emotional black mail. Will destoy you if you let it. My mother and husband were both alcoholics and died young. In the end I had to walk away because the more I stayed and enabled them to play the victim the 'poor me game' the less they would do to get help. You cant love anyone better and the longer you reward them by giving them what they want the more they will do it. They have to seek help and you need to save yourself and to walk away. Nothing I could have done would save them from themselves the more I did, the more burnt out I got. I had to save me and my children and joined Alanon which gave me the emotional support I needed. By saving myself I saved my children too. There is help out there and they need to get it to save themselves like we all do .
Replies to "Emotional black mail. Will destoy you if you let it. My mother and husband were both..."
Connect
I hadn't thought about Alanon for a long time. It I heard was good for a lot of people. Everyone need people who have shared and are dealing with a similar thing. My daughter kept on accusing me of enabling her brother with his drug use in that I did not kick him out soon enough. When I left my family home at 19 because I couldn't handle her blaming me for everything, the only enabling I did was to pay her bills that she didn't see; every one else who saw her, saw her as the one they could take advantage of because they knew there was no one looking. NOW that doesn't mean you were wrong as you know. My mother (because she got worse when my Dad died) went to a rehab center time after time because all of us kids ( 19,25,27,28) had lives going on for me it was college across country, my brother the Air Force, my older sisters were married and I did not have the slightest idea what a rehab center was and they were the ones who told me. I left it alone. It is only now that I think I did not do anything wrong, but I wish I knew. I could have called and just have taken the grief, because maybe, just maybe, one day might have been better for her. There is nothing you can do to fix things, taking care of yourself and family is the first thing. Because of my Mom, I try to think of what I can do in a situation I'm involved with, that will make it better. I am give you an example right now. I may have said something that seems to contradict what you've said I agree with everything I am just adding to it from my history. Now I did not go back and read anything so bye!