@daveshaw Thanks Dave. I am enjoying our exchange as well. And, you sound like a warm and loving father...two qualities my late husband (Yes, I had a wonderful marriage) and father shared, which I couldn't have lived without. I was loved unconditionally by my parents and my husband, and I truly feel I blessed.

I was hoping that given my experience with depression, there is some information I could share, which would be helpful. I evidently didn't understand your comment about your mother's depression. I thought you wrote that your son had it in his DNA. I didn't realize that you had it as well, and have been able to manage it with drugs and a wonderful psychiatrist.

Your son sounds like a very special person. It's extraordinary that he would donate his kidney to his mother.

Even if he is is suicidal (I know you didn't write that he is, but it would be the only reason I can think of that you're so worried about his death in the hospital, I'm hoping he is getting the care he needs, and you feel he is safe there. I can only assume that his wife and your two grandsons have returned, and she is overseeing all of this.

I wish you, your son, and both of your family's my very best wishes. Given that my medication hasn't worked nearly as well as yours has, I know that it's like to spiral downward. But when you are loved as much as I have been, and I am sure he has been too, I know that I was always able to find a reason to hang on. And, then when the medication kicks in...it's difficult to believe that things were were ever that bleak.

Dave, stay in touch, and let me know how things are going. I'm sending viral hugs to all of you!
Susan